De-clutter your Love Life… And let the Love of your Life step in.
One of the golden rules of feng shui is: in order to bring in the new, you have to first clear out the old.
That's why so many Law of Attraction coaches will have you start by de-cluttering your home. You have to clear out old psychic space before you can manifest your new desires.
Take my nightmarish hall closet in my old single girl apartment in Santa Barbara. It was so piled high with boxes, old furniture, and file cabinets that I felt an inner yuck every time I walked by it.
That yuck energy was getting sent out into the stratosphere, like an unconscious radio signal: “Don't anyone come in here! It's gnarly here!”
I finally found the resolve to spend many weekends clearing out the clutter. Mere months later, Darrin walked into my life. He's been here ever since.❤️
So how can you reduce your own clutter, so the love of your life can step in?
De-cluttering your home is a powerful first step, and I highly recommend it.
But here's a bigger question: do you have clutter in your dating space? And is it preventing anyone new from entering your life?
From a love attraction perspective, “clutter” is anything (or anyone) in your energy field that is out of alignment with what you truly want with love.
Here are some examples of “dating clutter:”
– The -ex who reaches out now and then to pull you back in emotionally, even though they are now with someone else
– A “friends with benefits” arrangement for casual encounters, but no real intimacy
– A flirty love connection who calls or texts you once in a while (usually on their terms) but has no serious intentions for you
– Someone you're in a relationship (or entanglement) with, even though you’re clear they’re not your One
Any scenario like this can slyly deplete your time and energy, leaving little or no energetic space for new people to come into your life.
So why do so many conscious singles hold onto their dating clutter? I often hear some version of “I like the attention,” or “it's better than nothing.”
Let's look at each of those one by one.
1. “I like the attention.”
For some people, the kind of “on again/off again” attention they get from a not-serious love connection feels deeply familiar – it might mirror the scant attention they received from a parent growing up, for example. And there's safety in the familiar.
The remedy here is to love the hell out of that inner child who believes they deserve only scant attention – so that your adult self can lean into a much happier future with love.
2. “It's better than nothing.”
This often comes from someone who feels defeated with love. Maybe it’s been years since they’ve been in a real relationship (or maybe never at all).
In these cases, there’s probably a core belief that goes something like: “I never get what I want, no matter what.”
But here’s the thing: if there’s someone in your dating space who isn’t giving you what you want, they are a living, breathing reminder of that core belief: “I don’t get what I want.”
As long as that belief is in your energy field, it will be hard to get what you want, because that belief is guiding all of your choices.
And dear one, I want so badly for you to get what you want with love – not only because I know that you deserve it, but because I know that you can have it.
De-cluttering any space is hard. Who wants to devote their precious free time to clearing out old drawers and closets? Where’s the joy in that? (If you actually do it, though, you will soon see where the joy comes in…)
De-cluttering your love life is even harder. If you truly let go of all of the dead-end love connections, what solace will you have? What will you do for fun or entertainment? How will you handle your hormonal drive and authentic desire for sex?
These are important questions. And when your dating space is clear, it’s you who provides the answers – not someone on the outside who isn’t invested in you.
Now you get to be creative about your time, and how you get your needs met. It’s a beautiful space of self-inquiry and exploration, and I promise you it is a space that love will want to walk into.
So what does it take to de-clutter your dating space? Nothing less than a hard boundary. There's just no way around it.
It means telling the “clutter” to stop contacting you because you are no longer available to them, and being clear that you’ll no longer be contacting them. And make a resolve to stick to that, no matter what.
Some people even block non-serious love connections on their phone and on social media (I cheer whenever I hear that!).
You’re not setting that boundary because you secretly want them to chase after you (that’s manipulation, not manifestation). Instead, you set the boundary because you’ve decided to become fiercely loyal to yourself.
And that means not keeping a door open for someone who is out of alignment with what you truly desire for love.
When you close the door on your dating clutter, you’re opening a door for someone new.
And who knows? Maybe the next person to cross your threshold truly is the love of your life.❤️❤️
Because now you’ve cleared out space for them to walk right in.
Keep company with your true love even before they arrive! My “Bundle of Love Meditations” give you powerful tools for connecting with your future love on the energetic level, which helps draw them into your life.
Christina McMahon is a love coach and certified somatic counselor. Over the past seven years, she has helped hundreds of conscious singles remove inner barriers to love and step into the love life they desire and deserve. Schedule your free consult call with Celeste, Christina’s Client Care Specialist and discover if love coaching is the right path to your Big Love.
