Late Pandemic Dating, Part 2: Five Dating Tips for our Current Moment
Has dating returned to normal? Is dating ever “normal?“
I don’t think so. “Normal” implies there is some general practice or standard. And I believe that dating is always personal. It’s a powerful reflection of your own unique quest for love.
Many of you might have felt a bit aimless in that quest during this pandemic. Some of you might have even put it to rest for awhile. I get that.
And now there may be something new stirring inside of you, like: what will dating look like for me now?
That depends on where you live in the world. In some countries, the virus is in retreat, while in others, it rages on and dating definitely requires more caution.
Given these very real global disparities, I can’t give you concrete advice for how to date in this moment.
What I can give you are guidelines that draw on the collective wisdom we have gained from navigating this pandemic as a planet.
All 5 of these tips were inspired by the excellent questions readers posted on my last blog post.
They wanted to know about dating app burnout, dating while vaccinated, dating during lockdown, and dating outside of their geographic (and comfort) zone.
SO HERE THEY ARE! Five tips for late-stage pandemic dating…
#1: Shake up your Energy with new Experiences
#2: Embrace Radical Honesty
#3: Loosen your Grip on the Long-term
#4: Seize Opportunities the Pandemic Has Opened Up
#5: Sense into your own Timing
Let’s break it down tip by tip, along with the Q&A that inspired each one:
#1: Shake up your Energy with new Experiences
Q: With the pandemic making it harder to meet people in person, avoiding dating app fatigue has become a challenge. What are some ways to forge more meaningful connections? (Ruby)
COVID fatigue has hit me hard recently. I am missing real connection and the apps feel like a chore. I don’t feel like this is a good place to approach dating from but I still deeply desire a partner. How can I shift my attitude? Or should I wait until I feel inspired to date again? (Bree)
A: Look, dating app fatigue is common, pandemic or not. But I sense that you both may be feeling it more keenly after so many months of pandemic living. And one thing pandemic living brings is stagnation.
What I hear from both of you is that you need a change. Your energy wants to move. How can you introduce newness into each day or week, so that you can jumpstart your dating life again?
Here’s one golden idea. Years ago, a friend and I circled six activities in our local paper - ones we had never tried before (you could also do this with meet up events from meetup.com).
We assigned a number to each of the activities, then we rolled a dice to see which one we would do. It ended up being an Afro-fusion dance class, and it was such a blast! It saved me from stagnation.
I invite you to try this with “new-to-you” activities that are being offered outside or online (Or indoors, if you are vaccinated and feel comfortable with that).
Remain open and let the dice decide what you are going to try next. Because when you shake up the energy in your everyday life, you shift the energy in your dating life too. New people come onto your radar. New ideas arrive about how you want to date.
So many of my students and clients have found love during this pandemic - and the dating apps have been in the minority for how these charmed love stories have begun. In almost every case, the pandemic inspired them to get creative about how they wanted to date. And it paid off!
Tip #2: Embrace Radical Honesty
Q: I’m feeling more like getting out there and meeting new people because I'm now fully vaccinated - and there seems to be a real excitement in the air (Not to say there's no risk). I still want to meet my sacred partner and be intentional about that, but I also want to meet multiple people and have fun, especially during this time. Any thoughts? (Christina)
A: Dear Christina, that’s a potent combo for finding sacred partnership: being intentional about finding your One, while ALSO being open to multiple people and having fun. Without that first element, we can become directionless. Without that second element, we can cling to someone new too early on. I applaud your gusto!
I sense the freedom this vaccine has granted you, and I also see that you’re mindful of lingering risk. Whenever you’re dating multiple people at once, I always recommend radical honesty: “I’m connecting with various people right now so I can find the best fit for me.“ That honesty is even more important during a pandemic. Also, decide what you need to know about someone in order to feel safe yourself. Do you need to ask if they are fully vaccinated? Or if they’re not, are they avoiding risky behavior?
Get clear on what feels safe for you, and ask for what you need authentically. That’s a principle of conscious dating. It won’t steer you wrong.
Tip #3: Loosen your Grip on Long-term Plans
Q: I have connected with someone virtually, who lives on the other side of the world! How can I keep the faith that we will meet in person, even though it's hard to tell when we will be able to travel again? To elaborate, how can I be open to surrendering to Divine Timing, without trying to control the outcome? (Laura)
A: How cool, Laura! So listen, if there’s one thing this pandemic has taught us all, it is flexibility. How many times during 2020/21 have you tried to make a detailed plan for anything (meet-up, holiday, work project), and then realized you needed to modify or cancel it? And out of those times, how often did a solution or arrangement appear that was better than what you had in mind originally?
Surrendering to Divine Timing means that the main outcome you are intending is openness. You might try a mantra like: “May I be utterly open to love in whichever way it chooses to come to me.”
In this way, you are keeping the faith in you and in love itself. If love chooses to come to you through this special person you have met across the world, you will be supremely open to it. And if love chooses to come to you in any other way, you’ll be equally open to that.
Either way, you’ll be gifted with a sense of freedom on your path to love, and feel deliciously supported by the divine along the way.
Tip #4: Seize Opportunities the Pandemic Has Opened Up
Q: My pandemic experience has afforded me flexibility to be a nomad, given fully remote work. So, I’m not in any one place for too long - though eventually I will return to my work location (likely in late August). While I have done online dating in a few locations, the unsettled nature of life right now makes dating feel futile and challenging. I'm traveling because it allows me to be near dear ones, so I'm not isolated. I do want love in my life, just maybe not right now? I'm leery of meeting someone online who lives in another part of the world/country, and then what...how do we navigate location challenges?
A: Great questions, JC! So if we weren’t in this pandemic, you may not have experienced nomadic life. And it’s Love that has driven your current nomadic lifestyle - a healthy desire to be near loved ones. Could it be that Love has a larger plan for you here? Suppose your sacred partner is not in your work location, and the universe is using this current reality to bring you together?
I hear you about location challenges. Can you trust that if Love has brought you this far, it is also going to provide the perfect geographical solution? What if your future partner has always wanted to relocate to where you work?
On a practical note, you might include that in your online dating profile: seeking someone open and flexible geographically, as I’m not here permanently (and then indicate if you are open as well).
Tip #5: Sense into your own Timing
Q: One question that often comes to mind for me is “How will I be perceived if I’m dating in person right now?” We’re in lockdown here in Canada and we’re not really suppose to be seeing people in person very much. Will I be judged? Am I putting myself and others at risk? I often feel shame when physically seeing anyone and am worried to appear irresponsible. Or is there a workaround? (Jennifer)
A: Hi Jennifer! Yes, there are workarounds for dating during a lockdown: long-term video courtships, social distancing dates outside (I’ve seen many beautiful sacred partnership start in exactly these ways during the past year).
But is this what you want? I ask because I sense some hesitancy in you. Perhaps you sense that the timing isn’t right for you to connect with potential partners right now, pandemic or not.
If so, it’s totally fine. Some people have used the lockdown purely for inner evolution, and that alone will carry you leagues forward on your love journey.
I’m curious if you worry about appearances in other areas of life as well, like in the professional realm or in your personal life in general? You may want to do some journaling about this to see if there’s a core belief around approval that’s asking for healing.
I firmly believe that we find our way to love through following our own inner, golden compass. And I wouldn’t want you to throw your compass off by worrying about appearances.
If you follow what feels right to you, and safe to you, you will be on your unique path to love. And if you trust your own timing (and you will feel it when it kicks in), everything will already be lined up in your heart and in the divine realm. And then get ready for miracles...
If you're ready for your own miracles with love, check out my "Opening to Sacred Love" online program. In just 7 modules that you complete at your own pace, you'll access powerful tools for shifting long-held relationship patterns, and receive hands-on guidance for dating in a targeted way for your sacred partner.
All memberships come with a bonus 15-minute laser coaching call with me. Get started here.
Christina McMahon is a love coach and certified somatic counselor. Over the past seven years, she has helped hundreds of conscious singles remove inner barriers to love and step into the love life they desire and deserve.
Schedule your free consult call with Celeste, Christina’s Client Care Specialist and discover if love coaching is the right path to your Big Love.
